Priorities & Narcissists
Make yourself a priority if you want others to respond the same. When you become a second option or not an option at all, that’s a straightforward message that you’re surrounded by the wrong people. Or that you have to work on your beliefs, boundaries, and rules, which puts you in the position of becoming a priority.
If you find yourself in the first situation, surrounded by the wrong people, and not realizing it, you’ll start to develop guilt, shame, low self-esteem. You’ll think that is your fault for becoming a second option for X person, that you have to do more, to prove more… just to grab their attention. This is a toxic behavior towards yourself that is deepening your low self-esteem. This type of behavior is met in relationships with narcissists.
Let me tell you “a secret” – we all meet a narcissist in our life at some point.
The question is, where are you at with yourself when this happens?
This is where the difference is between becoming their victim or not. Or between becoming their long-term victim or not, better said.
People don’t show their true colors right away, usually. Narcissists made a golden rule out of this, to hide who they really are, and they do it well – until they get discovered.
Who are these narcissists?
They are people too, like you, like me… but deep hurt people. With deep low self-esteem and high ego. It seems like these two go together when not balanced.
When people carry trauma in the long term without trying to heal it, they’ll start blaming others, victimizing themselves, becoming envious of anyone’s happiness, different beliefs, strength, power… When they start punishing these people for their traits, they already became narcissists. They feed with their toxic actions toward others, looking to mirror their inner feelings – all negative emotions spectrum. Is scary how far this can go.
I will give you one example only: Hitler. He was a narcissist.
Their need to feed with these toxic actions they take, is coming from the disbelief that they will never experience happiness, so why others should? All they need is a switch to change that negative belief and work on their inner transformation. Which is possible if they choose so.
And this is NOT your job, but fully theirs! As it is for each and every one of us. The inner state can be transformed by you only. It’s a journey that you decide to start, or not.
When you get to understand where they’re coming from, you’ll get over it easier and faster.
Getting back to priorities, making yourself a priority doesn’t mean ignoring others – goes the same with self-love, but setting clear rules and boundaries that align with your new belief system.
When you get clear and at peace with what you really want, the right people will show up. Especially in relationships.
Make yourself a priority and they will treat you as such.
Don’t allow past relationship drama to affect your new one. Is a new chapter always, stay open-hearted and open-minded.
Make this statement your new assumption:
I choose to become the No 1 priority in my life and in relation to people that I choose to be part of my journey!
