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Self Sabotage

Learn to communicate your needs and wants when necessary.

For that you need to know yourself first.

To accept all of You.

Emotions, thoughts, mistakes, failures.

All of it.

When you identify them it becomes easier to accept yourself fully.

From here you get to work on your self control, and actually balance emotions and thoughts.

 

“As I was focused on healing those past events, this was happening.

I kept serving them a story they wanted to hear, more than that, I exaggerated all of it – without knowing they would be capable of actually getting so far.

I thought they would just leave me alone – what I wanted.

I was operating from a high level of self sabotage.”

 

– Self control series – my story.

 

Have you ever experienced self sabotage?

make your choice

Why do some relationships become toxic?

Why do some relationships become toxic?

Recognizing that you have past experiences that left a mark on you, it should be normal to share when you want an open and growth oriented relationship.

It is about being aware of your issues, we all have some, and also about sharing it with your partner to find solutions.

It starts with willingness.

This requires both partners being open about it, willing, conscious, aware.

It requires good communication, which implies being able to actually listen to what the other person has to say.

It requires having self control overall to be able to share everything in a constructive manner – that will help the relationship evolve.

It cannot be forced, by one or the other. Must be natural!

-When it is forced it becomes toxic –

 

And here is where your boundaries and what you truly want comes into play.

make your choice

My story series – Women and respect

A few days ago, I decided to share my personal story, which happened a few years ago and led to learning self-control and self-mastery.

I will share parts of the story, as it is very long, in a non-chronological order. I am still working on it, so it’s not fully ready, yet.

Those who follow my work are already used to my writing style – authentic, inspiring, and real.

All the new ones – welcome aboard!

The next series of posts with part of my story will be shared in the same style.

Stay tuned! Is going to be interesting.

Here is the first random part.

 

“A woman can’t defend herself, or her child, without being labeled in the worst possible way?

How is this possible in today’s society?

I agree that I shouldn’t have reacted that way, and never did ‘till that point.

This shows that even the calmest people can reach their limit when pushed towards it repetitively.

This shows I am only human, and I am not flawless.

This also shows how easily a woman gets dismissed.

A Woman Is the Backbone of Society!

Women play an important, foundational role in sustaining, nurturing, and shaping families, communities, and cultures.

They often present a higher rate of emotional intelligence.

Women give Birth and/or Raise Future Generations.

They shape the values, behaviors, and well-being of these future generations.

Women keep families and communities connected and they are a source of strength and emotional support for them – through women’s amazing resilience and adaptability.

So society can evolve and thrive!

Why doesn’t a woman receive the full support from the same society?

What would a society be without women?

Would a society even exist?…

Instead, women still get suppressed and labeled without sustainable reasons.

We are not here to debate which one is the best, smartest, or most capable

 – a man or a woman.

This is a stupid move that has been going on for centuries – which created useless competition.

It needs to stop.

We are here to understand each other’s values, roles, and individuality.

To thrive together!

To accept and support women and men’s contribution to an ongoing evolving society.

A thriving society needs both of them!

Women and men.

Each with its unique values and contribution.

It always was like that, and always will be.

A man’s role has been recognized and acknowledged.

It’s time to fully acknowledge, recognize, and support a woman’s role in this society too!

I said earlier that a woman is the backbone of a society.

A man is the head of a society.

And these two are interconnected.

Back to the lesson.

 After that moment I understood I can’t force anyone to show respect, but I can refuse to be disrespected by stepping away. 

By gaining full self-control over reactions.”

find your perfect fit

Loyalty is a two way street

How much do you value loyalty?

Here is my take.

Loyalty is a two-way street.

A reciprocal give and take.

You can’t expect to receive it if you can’t offer it. And you can’t fully offer it without receiving it.

Loyalty is one of the biggest values one can hold.

It requires integrity, and it speaks integrity.

When you don’t receive it back, the common tendency is to give even more. (this applies to many other aspects too)

This only shows you don’t have clear boundaries – which further tells the other person that it is ok to keep crossing it.

And here you get trapped in the spiral of low self-esteem, low self-worth. 

Making it about you.

Well… is Not about You!

What other people Choose to do is their full responsibility, and not yours.

 

Wake up and see the reality of what is!

Blaming yourself for other people’s choices leads nowhere.

Did I experience lack of loyalty?

Yes.

What I did further…

I stepped out with grace.

 Physically, energetically, fully. 

No regrets. No low self-esteem, no nothing.

I even took it one step further and wished them well, also said thank you

and I meant it.

I am not here to compete with ‘the other woman’. Hell no!

Never did, never will.

Let him have her, really. Let him.

He did you a big favor by showing you who he is. 

Accept it and move on.

The answer to why some people choose to do this

Is simple and obvious

Lack

Of

Integrity

Weak values

Lack of self-control

So, do you really want to waste your time and energy with ‘fixing’ this person?

Not your effing job!

What IS your ‘job’ in this situation?

 

* Set clear boundaries and follow through.

*Build your confidence to last.

*Gain self-control to manage every situation with ease and grace.

*Gain self-mastery to fully express your authentic self in every situation.

 

Live in your full Power!

——-

Whatever side of loyalty you are

 

🌟 The HU 2.0 program is going to help you transform all that, and more.

All you have to do is to send me a message.

——-

*Warning*

🌟 This program is Not for everybody.

If you are not willing to fully commit and face your fears in order to solve it – don’t bother.

What I teach is real-life effective methods that are going to fully transform you, not just knowledge from books.

Have a good one! 🙏

 

FIND YOUR PERFECT FIT

How often do you feel overwhelmed?

How often do you feel overwhelmed?

I’ve been there, and this is common especially when running a business but not only.

 

* Having tons of tasks to do daily.

* Feeling like time is too short.

* Never finish all you had on your daily to-do list.

* Thinking that there must be something you’re doing wrong.

* Thinking that you have to do even more than you’re already doing.

* Results are not always so great even though you work hard.

* Saying yes to everything.

 

All of this it’s a trap. A mental trap!

That will keep spinning – unless you decide firmly to stop it.

Again, this can be applied to personal life too.

Let me tell you this. The moment I understood that all of this was created by mental blocks and started to create the mindset shift in this direction… 

Everything changed!

I got full clarity. 

I started to focus on priorities more. 

My daily to-do list got easier to implement.

Always found time to relax also.

I got to enjoy every moment of it.

The outcome is completely different, way better, when you operate from a clear and balanced place.

When you calm down the inner noise and replace it with clarity and focus, everything else just flows.

And this is what gaining self-control feels like.

Another realization I had, is that you have to learn when to let go. 

Not everything is up to you to do.

You have to trust the process.

Your inner energy dictates your results and further actions!

So start here. 

Regulate your thoughts and emotions. 

And you’ll be amazed by the results you get!

I believe overwhelm comes from thinking that you have to do it all by yourself. 

From not trusting your inner energy.

From an unbalanced energy.

This is where mental blocks form and all the burden that comes with it.

Now you know it is Possible to release all of that.

Mindset mastery is the answer.

 

Still confused about what to do next?

Message me.

 

It’s Time to escape from that mental cage you got yourself into.

find your perfect fit

A fascinating fact about the power of words and emotions

We’re around 60% water. Keep this in mind as you read further.

Through his water experiment, Dr. Masaru Emoto proved that water has consciousness, therefore feelings.

In his experiment, Emoto exposed water to different spoken and written words, both positive and negative, and to music.

Then, the water was frozen and examined under a microscope.

Emoto’s observation was that the crystals formed from the water exposed to positive intentions, had beautiful, symmetrical patterns.

While those formed from the water exposed to negative intentions, had chaotic patterns.

The conclusion is simple. 

If our human body is around 60% water, where only the brain and heart have 73% water, this means one thing:

The way you speak to Yourself, the intentions you hold, will influence Your health, emotions and thoughts.

Knowing this, what do you think happens within you when you hold on to a stressful, negative experience?

Knowing this, don’t you think it’s worth it to start or continue working on yourself?

Make this transformation your priority, you will thank yourself later.

And I can give you the shortcuts to live a balanced and harmonious life, while eliminating mental and emotional blocks.

Send a message if you feel ready to continue your journey with me.

find your perfect fit

Why I started as a coach. Story time.

Some of you asked what inspired me to become a coach.
 
Here is my answer.
Guiding people, giving them aha moments and solutions, changing their perspective, and changing their overall life for the better – is something I have done ever since I was a teenager.
It comes naturally to me and I love doing it.
 
As the years went by, and going through my own challenges and life experiences – I significantly improved my skills.
To the point where I gained self-control over my thoughts, emotions, actions, and reactions. Which led to self-mastery.
 
Think of self-control as if it’s a button, that you can switch on/off whenever is needed.
Thinking back to when I had my first “coaching session”…
 
I was 15 years old. My parents used to fight a lot, until one day when I saw them fighting again. They were in the kitchen. I walked in there, calm, and separated them.
While I hopped on the kitchen counter, one was sitting at the table, the other one at the window (I was in the middle). And started to ask them questions about their marriage.
When I saw they kept contradicting every thing the other one said, I asked them a final question:
 
– Why don’t you divorce? It seems a good solution for you.
They were shocked.
That was the moment when complete silence settled down. It was out of the question!
From that moment, all was peaceful. For a short period, until they got back to old habits.
 
 
Changing a bad habit takes practice, and through practice it becomes a lifestyle, your identity.
 
You can’t say:
– Well, I’ve tried 1-2 times, it doesn’t work for me!
 
To create that bad habit you took plenty of time, and lots of practice to make it part of your life. Years upon years.
 
You might not break it in just a week or maybe a month.
Depending on where you’re at, it will take time to change and replace a bad habit.
And this is different for each of you.
 
And by bad habit I mean – negative thinking, overreacting, overthinking, not knowing how to regulate emotions or thoughts, impulsiveness, not being able to control reactions, lack of awareness, not being able to focus, etc.
In 2020 I’ve decided to come forward and create a business out of my passion. Which I did.
Since then, I have been helping people worldwide with an incredible success rate.
 
People come to me when they need to overcome a stressful situation, improve relationships, become more confident, get a business consultation, get mindset mastery.
People come to me when they want a different life, when they get tired of running in circles.
In short, people come to me to gain self-control, mindset mastery, self-mastery.
 
Why do my shortcuts work?
They are created during real-life and business challenges.
I am authentic.
I don’t like wasting anyone’s time or money.
 
Remember this rule always:
Personal or/and Business Success is built through mindset mastery!
90 % mindset – 10% action.
 
🌟 If you are ready to join me, here is how you can do it:
Email consulting
Call consulting
Exclusive community
Human Upgrade 2.0 (HU 2.0) program
 
HU 2.0 program is the most potent one.
Within this program you get my daily support to reach your destination.
You also have the option to join for a week only, or more, up to 3+ months.
 
What clients say about my work:
 
“Was very stress releasing.”
 
“My perception has certainly shifted, but this method has allowed me to release.”
 
“I am happy to participate in your program.”
 
“Only want to continue to embark in all that you are teaching me. It’s really helpful.”
 
“You are the best!!”
 
More info and success stories here on my website.
 
You can message me if you have questions.
 
Are you in?

Find your perfect fit

Conversations with Alex

 

Conversations with Alex (my son)

He just started school after 3 weeks of winter vacation.

We have a deal, one of many, where he gets to skip school on less busy days, from time to time. (“bad” mom lol – I hope his teacher doesn’t see this)

A few days ago, while I was at my laptop, he told me to give him a hug. (His hugs are usually not free)

I hugged him of course, and asked:

 – I know this hug wasn’t free, what do you want?

 – Well… with a smirk on his face… Remember our deal about skipping school? I want to skip tomorrow.

This was happening after the first day of school, after vacation… (lol)

So I told him no, duh.

Of course he kept going. (quite persistent when he wants something)

I tried to explain to him that we need balance in our deals, and why he can’t do this yet.

He didn’t like it, but was cool in the end.

I just let him express his anger (“I will never hug you again!” or do this, and that – and I agree with everything he says), holding my smile back lol (he’s so cute when he gets angry). 

Knowing he will calm down eventually and understand.

Which always happens. 

When he’s calm we talk again to make sure he’s ok. (and have free hugs lol)

 

Understanding balance in everything we do and the importance of allowing negative emotions to surface, in order to solve it, starts at a young age.

 

If you didn’t have that as a child (I know I didn’t) you can train yourself in doing so.

 

Yesterday his lovely teacher sent me an amazing message about his school accomplishments.

 

He is top at school and effortlessly.

So proud of him, in all aspects!

And I make sure to let him know often.

Acknowledgment of even the smallest things, not just the big ones, is important.

So, it’s easy to create deals with him, and is always a win-win setting.

 

PS: In the upcoming premium community I’ll share even more valuable insights about all aspects of life. Stay tuned!

 

Have a great week! 😉

 

CHOOSE YOUR OPTION

What does your mind say?

One single thought can change your mood, your day.

One mindset shift can change your life.

 

Your mind is constantly whispering to you.

 

  • What if you fail?
  • You can’t do this.
  • You can’t slow down or you’ll lose everything.
  • There’s not enough time/resources

Or

 

  • I’ll never find someone like them again
  • I’ve failed
  • I need someone to feel complete
  • If I don’t settle now, I’ll end up alone

 

And the list goes on and on…

 

Your natural approach will be to dismiss them. (Wrong move! Dive right into it Without getting trapped there – I have lots of helpful tips to guide you through it.)

 

The truth is – your whispers don’t have to hold you back, they can push you forward.

If you train your mind and heart in this direction.

 

Curious how I turned my whispers into motivation and tangible results?

Take a look at my previous post called Mindset – Your Silent Business Partner, where I dive deeper into mastering this battlefield.

 

choose your option

Mindset – The Silent Business Partner

 

Your mindset is either your biggest investor or your greatest liability!

Your ally or your enemy.

And this applies in both, business and personal life.

 

The way you approach a situation will have a huge impact on your outcome.

 

Let’s take the 80/20 rule. Mindset vs action. 

This rule evolved from the Pareto Principle. Pareto said that if you focus on 20% of actions you will get 80% of results. Modern coaches took this principle and integrated it into personal growth metrics.

From here the present rule of 80/20.

This rule means that – you should focus 80% on mindset to get those 20% of actions.

Which is nothing but the truth!

 

I will even go further with this saying that success is, actually, 90% mindset and 10% action. (I mention this in some other posts too)

This conclusion is a strong belief I have, after testing many different ways, for years, to get what I wanted – in my personal life and business.

 

I used to take a lot of action, ignoring my inner thoughts and feelings. I got some results from it, but not for the long run. Being impulsive didn’t help either, in fact, made it worse. 

I lacked self-control, which made it difficult to shift my mindset no matter how hard I tried.

I was stuck in this rabbit hole.

Mental clarity was not as ongoing as it is now. Emotional regulation was off (now present whenever I need it) – all of my efforts seemed so difficult and with low results.

 

Thought I had to work even harder, to the point I was extremely exhausted – and from this point nothing good came out (of course).

 

Thought I must be doing something wrong. Confidence and self-trust were up and down, mostly down during work.

 

Fears were building and building.

Fear of failure along with fear of success (yep), imposture syndrome, fear of not being good enough… I was functioning with a scarcity mindset thinking that there were not enough resources.

On a personal level, this created fear of uncertainty which led to other unpleasant things. Add raising a kid on top of that.

Overwhelming is a small word to describe the above.

 

I just described the real struggle that entrepreneurs and business owners face, didn’t I?

 

Quite a list huh? (lol)

 

I also say often that business and personal life are interconnected through mindset. It is so.

One affects the other and vice versa.

Is not possible to say I have a good mindset regarding business but I am a mess in my personal life. One builds the other. You either have it or you don’t.

Can you be successful without a healthy mindset? Dang sure!

But having the right mindset in place makes the journey more pleasant, more satisfying, and easier.

 

Real change happened when I discovered my natural way of shifting my mindset (most of what was known in this area was not working for me), I was forced to do it in my own way because I wanted to change. 

I said to myself – if others could do it so can I. 

I started to ask questions, like – What can I do to improve my mindset?

From here other questions… and the answers started to flow… A game-changer for me!

Proud to say now that I have some unique, very efficient methods to go about it. 🌟

 

Was it difficult? Yep. Is it possible? Yep.

Is it worth it or necessary? I will let you answer this one.

You can’t be a good leader without a healthy mindset in place.

You can’t choose proper relationships (of any kind) without a healthy mindset in place.

You can’t give your all to your kid(s) as a parent, without a healthy mindset in place.

 

And you can harmoniously integrate a healthy mindset when you reach a top level of self-control, and further on, when you reach a top level of self-mastery.

 

You start realizing that failure is golden and it teaches you so much if you become a good observer.

 

Everything becomes clear, easy, ideas and action plans flow, emotional regulation is there, intuition is high and you trust it every time.

 

You release negative situations, worries, and stress, faster than ever.

 

You spot people who don’t align with your life, or biz, vision. You also spot those who are walking the same journey with you.

 

It’s easy to be your authentic self every time.

 

You fully trust your journey.

 

You are at peace with yourself regardless of what life throws at you.

 

In other words – Everything falls into place!

 

There comes a moment when you realize you can’t keep waiting for the “right time”.

Human Upgrade 2.0 is your chance to break the negative cycle you’re in.

 

HU 2.0 is a hybrid program crafted for your individual needs – beautifully blending self-control, mindset mastery, and actionable steps to create lasting transformation.

If you’re ready to invest in leveling up your personal life and/or business, message me today and let’s begin.

 

What’s one mindset shift that changed your business game? What about your personal life?

 

CHOOSE YOUR OPTION

Copyright © 2021 Denisa Stancu. All Rights Reserved.
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